Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and emotionally equipped to navigate the challenges of growing up. As an educational psychologist, my work revolves around helping children build the emotional resilience they need not only to succeed academically but also to thrive socially and personally. For many pupils, particularly those with adverse childhood experiences or difficulties with emotional regulation, additional support is essential.
At the heart of my approach is the Thrive Framework, a dynamic, developmentally-informed model that provides practical strategies to support children’s emotional wellbeing. Whether I’m working one-on-one with a child or supporting school staff to develop a nurturing classroom environment, Thrive offers a compassionate, structured way to meet pupils where they are emotionally — and help them grow.
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Understanding the Emotional Needs of Pupils
In my role, I often work with children who struggle to regulate their emotions — those who may lash out when frustrated, withdraw when anxious, or display behaviours that mask deeper emotional pain. These behaviours can be misunderstood or labelled as “challenging,” but they’re often signs of unmet developmental needs.
Take Ethan, a 7-year-old boy referred to me for persistent disruptions in class. His teacher described him as “angry, defiant, and impulsive.” However, through observation and discussion with staff, it became clear that Ethan wasn’t simply misbehaving. He was dysregulated — overwhelmed by emotions he didn’t know how to process, and without the tools to express them appropriately.
This is where the Thrive Approach becomes invaluable. Grounded in neuroscience and attachment theory, Thrive helps us understand that children’s emotional development follows a sequence — and if a child has experienced trauma, neglect, or instability, they may get “stuck” at an earlier stage of development. Traditional behavioural strategies often fail because they don’t address these root causes.
How the Thrive Approach Works
Thrive identifies six developmental stages: Being, Doing, Thinking, Power and Identity, Skills and Structure, and Interdependence. These stages are linked to key emotional and social needs, such as feeling safe, being able to connect with others, and developing autonomy.
Using Thrive assessments and observations, we can identify a child’s current stage and tailor interventions accordingly. For example:
- A child in the Being stage may need sensory soothing, nurturing routines, and consistent adult presence to feel secure.
- A child in the Power and Identity stage may need help asserting themselves in appropriate ways, setting boundaries, and developing self-esteem.
With Ethan, we identified that he was functioning emotionally at the “Doing” stage — he needed structured opportunities for co-regulation and relational play, before he could begin to access more cognitive strategies like self-talk or problem-solving.
Working with his class teacher and teaching assistant, we implemented short, focused Thrive activities designed to support his emotional development. These included:
- Storytelling and puppetry to help him express difficult feelings safely.
- Sensory play and movement to regulate his physiological state.
- Adult-led regulation strategies, such as breathing games and visual emotion scales.
Crucially, these activities were embedded within a relational approach — consistent, attuned interactions with trusted adults who could help Ethan feel safe and understood.
Evidence and Impact
There is growing research supporting the effectiveness of the Thrive Approach in schools. A 2019 evaluation by The University of Exeter found that schools implementing Thrive saw a significant reduction in exclusions, improved attendance, and enhanced emotional wellbeing among pupils.
In my own practice, I’ve witnessed similar outcomes. Children who were once withdrawn begin to participate in class. Those with aggressive behaviours learn to pause and express themselves differently. Teachers report calmer classrooms and more connected relationships with their pupils.
One of the most powerful aspects of Thrive is that it empowers school staff to become emotionally available adults — a term coined by Louise Bomber — who can co-regulate with children and model healthy emotional responses. This relational safety is especially important for children with insecure or disrupted attachment histories.
Practical Strategies for Schools
For schools considering how to integrate Thrive or similar emotion-focused approaches, here are some key strategies:
- Prioritise Relationships
Connection is the foundation for emotional growth. Build in time for key adults to form consistent, trusting relationships with vulnerable pupils. - Use Emotional Check-ins
Visual aids like “How are you feeling today?” boards help children begin to identify and name their emotions, a critical first step in regulation. - Create Safe Spaces
Designated calm areas in classrooms or around school give children a place to decompress when overwhelmed. - Model Emotional Regulation
Adults can narrate their own emotional processes (“I’m feeling a bit frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath”) to teach children that all feelings are valid — and manageable. - Train and Support Staff
Ongoing CPD on attachment, trauma, and emotional development is essential. Staff who understand the “why” behind behaviour are more likely to respond with empathy rather than punishment.
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Final Thoughts
Supporting emotional development isn’t a luxury or an add-on — it’s a fundamental part of helping children learn, relate, and grow. As schools face rising mental health needs and the complex impact of post-pandemic life, emotionally intelligent education is more important than ever.
Thrive gives us a roadmap for this work. But more importantly, it reminds us that at the heart of emotional healing is human connection. When a child feels seen, heard, and accepted, they can begin to make sense of their inner world. And when they learn to regulate that world, the possibilities — academically, socially, and personally — are endless.
Let’s continue to meet children with curiosity, compassion, and the tools they need not just to cope, but to truly thrive.