October 2018 - Nelumbo Consultancy

Key of Health And Happy Relationship

Happiness in every relationship is felt differently. For some people, happiness in their relationship comes from a conflict-free life. For others, it might mean lots of laughter or great intimacy with each other. Whatever your definition of a happy relationship is, it directly links to your wants, needs, expectations, and desires, which change over time. What remains constant are some specific attributes and behaviors we have mentioned down below.

If you put in the effort and work towards incorporating these tips into your everyday life, the likelihood of your long-term happiness and success in your relationship will be undeniable.

1.    Respect For Each Other

Respect is one thing that needs to be present for any kind of relationship to work. If there are no boundaries of respect between each other, it’s going to become quite tough to continue your relationship. Giving respect to each other does not necessarily mean you agree to all that your partner says. If your partner is giving you their opinion or advice on how a certain thing can be done, you can show your respect by acknowledging and complementing their views and thoughts, even if you don’t agree with your partner’s advice.

In order for the relationship to be happy and healthy, the respect should be mutual. It needs to be a two-way street. You can’t expect one partner to show respect if you don’t return it.

2.    Keeping Your Independence

If you want your relationship to be a happy and healthy one, first, it’s important for you to be happy. The essence of a successful relationship stems from you taking some time out for yourself. Even though you and your partner are in a relationship, doesn’t mean your independence is seized. You and your partner might not share the same interests and hobbies. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy or take part in your activities anymore. Don’t restrict or force your partner to join you in your hobbies. You do your thing and let your partner do theirs. If anything, you both might find yourselves to be naturally drawn to each other’s hobbies.

3.    Argue, But Not Fight

There can be no such relationship where partners do not argue. Sometimes arguing with each other can be healthy for your relationship. There is a huge difference between arguing and fighting.

Sometimes a partner will argue just for the sake of disagreeing and loving it when the other gives way. Its always healthy to have both partners compromise at some stage and at some level, or agree to disagree. They may argue about their choice of a best sports team, or choice of restaurant, on some item of decoration in the house, or where to travel on their vacation. So as long as they can look back and relive those moments and laugh about it, it’s a healthy argument and a happy relationship.

4.    Mutual Parenting

As much as every couple desires a child and has plans and ambitions for their offspring, the raising of the child can, unfortunately, be a sore conflict between the partners. This kind of conflict can only be detrimental not only to the relationship of the partners but also to the child. There are many books written by experts which partners can read together and decide on their parenting style.

5.    Equality with Finances

Money finances should not be an issue for partners to spoil their happy and healthy relationship. Finances are very important issues partners should discuss to ensure their healthy relationship. A constant need for money and a wasteful or easy-sending partner can spoil many loving relationships.

A reminder of a bill payment on the refrigerator door is an unspoken reminder of both partner’s responsibility. This will prevent one partner nagging the other about THEIR responsibilities. Long term planning for a new house or a much needed cruise or vacation makes both partners share a common goal and both of them strive for the achievement of that goal that they can enjoy together. Each will have a feeling that they are sacrificing for each other, and this helps to enhance the bond between the two.

6.    Common Values and Goals

Sometimes partners may belong to the same religion and share the same culture. They have many common interests and festivities. On the other hand, some partners belong to different cultures or even different religions. This will not be a hindrance to their relationship if they respect and accept that each other’s religion and culture is important. There should be more adventures as they get to learn more and more about each other’s culture and festivities, and enjoy both sects of families.

If you try to incorporate these tips and guidelines in your daily life, you will notice a huge difference in the long-term happiness and success of your relationship. Motivation and will towards incorporating such tips to improve your relationship helps you attain a good feeling about yourself and portrays commitment towards your partner.

If you wish to learn more on dating and healthy relationships, feel free to visit our website or contact our qualified representatives to learn how we can be of service to you.

How to Overcome Shame and Build Self Confidence

One of the utmost debilitating and damaging emotions a human can feel is shame. Normally, this feeling occurs when people compare their standards to others in the society and end up feeling inferior and bad about themselves. There are moments where feelings of shame lead to people engaging in risky and self-destructive behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse, long-term emotional and physical problems comprising anxiety, low self-esteem,  bodily pain, and depression.

The good news is, you can entirely avoid going down this path. Make a vow to yourself that you will value yourself and every one of your contributions and achievements. You need to make yourself understand that your one bad action will not define who you are.

Why Do We Feel Shame?

The feeling of shame rises when you think you’re not good enough or that something is wrong with you. Shame has nothing to do with you having done a wrong deed. That’s when you feel guilty. No, feelings of shame arise from the belief of you simply not being good enough. Unfortunately, this core belief and mentality is found to be quite prevailing in today’s society where everyone compares themselves to one another. It has become quite common to find those people who find themselves to be mediocre and at a lower standard than others of their same age, struggle with addiction and other issues.

A cumulation of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors is how our lives are evolved. With the experiences we face in our lives, we are stereotyped, labeled, and stigmatized. We end up becoming something other than who we truly are.

In this world we live in today, you must have been told by someone that you’re different or strange. It can be your own friends, family, or someone you admire and look up to. If the person who said this is someone whose opinions and thoughts really matter to you, there’s a good enough chance the second you’re told there’s something wrong with you, you’re going to feel shame.

In today’s society where bullying and being made fun of is quite common, you might find someone making fun of your weight, or your face covered with acne marks. In such cases, usually, it is the person who has a model-like figure or a person with flawless skin.  Your parents might tell you over and over that your poor grades are because you’re not as smart enough as your brother. Your teacher might make fun of your grades in front of the whole class.

When you hear such comments made by these people, you instantly feel shame. This feeling of shame might stay with you for a long time to come. These feelings can scare you for life. They can have a huge and drastic impact on your self-confidence.  And when your self-confidence and self-esteem is low, you cannot succeed in anything you do. Be it your studies, career, or anything you do in life.

Overcome Your Shame and Build Your Self Confidence Back

Well then, it’s now high time you let go of your feelings of shame, and build your self-confidence back in yourself. It is difficult to live a full and happy life where our self-esteem is low. Our lives are a gift to us and we need to make the best of it by living each day to its fullest. Good self-esteem is what aids us to tide through all the challenges we face in our life. Our confidence and self-esteem turn every day of our life, a good day.

Here are some ways for you to help boost your self-confidence and self-esteem.

1. List Down All Your Strengths:

Your strengths can include talent, experiences, skills, or anything that helps you to feel confident about yourself. It can be something as simple as compliments given to you by others. When you list down your qualities, you are reminding yourself of all your strengths. This will help you to acknowledge your positive points and thus, increase your self-confidence.

2. Accept Your Flaws

We are all humans. We can make mistakes. That doesn’t mean you let your one flaw stop you from acknowledging your positive strengths and qualities. We all have some flaws and plain-looking features in ourselves. That does not mean we let it cloud over our positive points. Whenever you feel shame or low, remind yourself of your good qualities.

3. Make It A Practice To Look At Yourself In A Mirror And Say Five Positive Things About Yourself Out Loud

Whenever you feel shame, you need to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud, five of your positive qualities that will help you bring back your self-confidence. It can be your physical attributes, such as your smile, eyes, or hair. It could also be your internal attributes, such as your energy and compassion. Turn this into a regular practice and in no time, you will gain back your self-confidence.

If you wish to learn more on how to overcome feelings of shame and build self-confidence in yourself, feel free to visit our website or contact our qualified representatives to learn how we can be of service to you.

What is Emotional Climate and How to Improve it?

How many times have you noticed that you are at home, in a classroom or at work when somebody walks in with a bad mood and a few minutes later, everyone starts to be upset as well? This sudden change is caused by emotions, and they are highly contagious. The emotional climate is a concept that measures the climate of a particular community. The community can be anything from a small organization, a classroom, an entire region, or a city. When we talk about the emotional climate, it is something that affects our emotional relationships as they are interwoven among the members of a community. In this article, we will suggest some tips on improving your emotional climate. Read on to find out more about emotional climate and see some useful suggestion for improving it.

How to Enrich your Emotional Climate?

To have a better day at work or anywhere else it’s essential for you to take care of your personal emotions because they can have an effect on other people. The reason for being in a bad mood is plenty, maybe you woke up feeling grumpy and tired, or while driving you came across an obnoxious driver. Whatever the reason for your bad mood, try not to bring it with you to the place you are visiting. To have a better emotional climate, try to change your mood by spending more time in the parking lot, try to distract yourself so you won’t need to go somewhere with a bitter mood.

Work out Your Problems for a Positive Emotional Climate

When you are in a relationship, it becomes essential to work on getting rid of emotional issues as soon as possible before they escalate into huge arguments. Start by changing the emotional climate in the relationship. Both partners need to make an effort to resolve your mutual problems as soon as possible. The best approach is to put your relationship on the front instead of dragging it along than the back burner. Try to be kind, considerate, courteous, and sensitive to one another.

Have Control on Your Anger

One of the toughest thing for anyone is to control their anger at the other person. As hard as it sounds, controlling your anger and discussing the reason later will help you resolve the problem that led to the angry reaction. You can be angry with anyone for different reasons; it could be your boss, fellow co-worker, a friend, and even your partner. The best approach to maintaining a healthy emotional climate is to avoid overreacting to rage. Try to stay as calm as possible and speak to the person about your feeling. Communication is key to having a positive emotional climate. Focus on your anger and irritability, take a deep breath, and look for ways to distract yourself from the negative emotion of anger. Try your best to regulate your rage rather than spraying it around on others especially when they are not responsible for the anger.

Communication is the Best Solution

To control the emotional ups and downs in any relationship it’s necessary to have a positive emotional climate. To regulate the emotional roller coaster ride in any relationship it is necessary to have open communication about various issues that the two of you are facing. Sit together after dinner but instead of wandering off to your social media accounts or scrolling through television channels, talk to each other!

Share the events of the day with each other and then try to talk about the negatives that usually leads to arguments. Having an open discussion about your future will help you understand each other. Listen to each other’s grievances and try to resolve as many problems as possible. To have a healthy relationship try to talk to each other as much as possible. Sharing your opinions, views, and ideas about the future will go a long way in establishing a trusting mutual relationship.

Break Out of Your Routine

Following the same routine, every day of your life is boring and it might be one reason for a negative emotional climate. Try to break the routine by going on a holiday. If you are a couple a getaway can do wonders for both of you. Travelling and vacations bring about a positive change in any relationship because you get a chance to break the routine and try something new. Vacations are a great way to make some memories that you can cherish your entire life.

We have given you different suggestions for improving your emotional climate and have healthier and happier relationships. Remember that your emotions affect everyone around you at home, at work or in any other place where your friends and family are present. Your heartening emotions can have a positive emotional climate.

For more information on emotional climate and its effect on relationships, visit our website or contact our representatives to learn about developing a relationship based on fondness and respect for each other. 

A Brief Dating Guide To Help You Find The Right Partner

Are you looking for love, but it’s hard for you to find the right person to settle down with? When you or your close friend is undergoing a similar situation then it’s all too easy to get discouraged and give up on dating. After bad breakups and heartbreaks, you start to believe in the many destructive myths about relationships and dating. We are giving you a short guide to dating that will debunk most of your dating myths and fears.

Avoid Making Decisions Out of Fear

In some relationships, one partner chooses to stay in a toxic relationship out of fear. Sometimes such a fear is associated with abandonment issues, financial instability, or they might not want to be single at that particular time in life. Reasons for staying in an unhealthy relationship vary from person to person. At this point, you have to realize that instead of staying in an unhappy relationship you should muster up the courage needed to end such a relationship. This will the best decision for both partners and it will be a good time to move and find the right partners.

Prospects About Finding Love and Dating

The main purpose of dating is to find the right partner and enter into a romantic relationship for a long-term commitment. We all have a tendency to develop unrealistic expectations such as how the person we intend to date must look, they should behave in a certain way, and if the relationship should progress from dating which role must each partner fulfill. The reasons behind such expectations could be your own family history, peer group influence or your personal past experiences. It’s important for a good relationship when the two partners do not have unrealistic expectations from each other.

Don’t think that Disagreements are Unhealthy

Most people avoid conflicts when they are dating and a popular myth about dating is that conflicts and disagreements are bad for a relationship. Conflict and arguments can create a space between you and your partner but take the conflict as an opportunity for growth in a relationship. Talk to each other or seek professional counseling but try to figure out your differences. Conflict does not have to the reason for a breakup unless the issue is too grave to be resolved.

Handle Rejection Graciously

There comes a point in every couple’s life when the dating isn’t as fun as you expected it to be. There could be many reasons at play but eventually, you will need to accept rejection. The best thing to do to handle a rejection is not take it personally, be positive, and think that if the person is rejecting you after two or three dates then their reasons might be too superficial. There is no way that you can force your date to like you or give you another chance once they have made up their mind about rejection. Everyone has the freedom to choose and never take a rejection personally, don’t consider it as a rejection because most of the times its incompatibility of the two personalities and ending the date is the best option.

Understand The Concepts of a Healthy Relationship

To help you find the right partner and a relationship that blossoms into a long-term commitment it is essential to understand what leads to a healthy relationship. The first thing that both partners must understand is mutual respect. Each partner must have respect for each other and value their opinions. The next thing that must be a part of any relationship is trust.

Be Honest About Your Flaws

Nobody is perfect but when people date, they try to hide their flaws and any habits that their date might find gross or annoying. Hiding your flaws isn’t the right choice if you are looking for a long-term relationship. Instead of hiding your flaws, try to talk to your date about your bad habits and the good aspects of your life and personality.

Being open about your flaws will help establish trust and honesty between you and your partner. Sometimes what you consider a flaw might be something quirky or interesting to the other person. Sharing your flaws will encourage your partner to do the same thing it will open up and encourage communication and sharing between you and your partner.

No relationship can flourish without honesty, trust, and mutual understanding. Hence, both partners need to work hard on developing a healthy relationship, avoid keeping secrets from one another as they can turn into a burden over time. A relationship must have honesty, support, and excellent communication between the partners. Allow partners to have their own separate identity.

For more information on healthy relationship contact us to  learn about developing a relationship based on fondness and respect for each other. 

 

Contact us now to schedule a consultation.
We can support you to find your purpose in life.

Subscribe for your newsletter

Don't worry! We also hate spamming.
Reach us
Contact us

London Address:

2 Harley Street, London, W1G 9PA

Twickenham Address:

13 Rosslyn Rd, Twickenham, TW1 2AR

Phone:

0203 929 9125

Email:

info@nelumboconsultancy.com

Skype:

nelumboconsultancy

Nelumbo Consultancy © 2017